16. How to Kill A Person?

I went to Vipassana (a solitude retreat) this December for 10 days. This was my second time. And like any good book, you will learn something new every time you go there. This time I discovered a new and interesting concept. 

Guru Ji said, “To kill a person, one has to kill own self first.”

To kill a person, one has to kill own self first. 

I was totally bewildered. Didn’t have any clue what this would mean. Then he explained.

“If you have to kill a person today, can you do it casually? Like it’s a normal job? No. First, you will need to get angry. Very angry. With this anger, your heartbeat will increase. Your blood pressure will increase. You will not be able to sleep at night. You will always be thinking of it. And then when the time comes you can kill the person. So in order to hurt someone, you first had to create negative things in your body(anger, high BP, sleeplessness, anxiety, etc). That is what is equivalent to killing yourself first.”

I was mind-blown after hearing this. Something clicked in me. For those who do not know about Vipassana, we meditate for 10 hours every day for 10 days without talking to anyone. This means we have ample time to dawn on such insightful preachings.

The more I thought about this the more I understood it. 

• When I wanted to hurt somebody, I would get really angry inside. I would not be able to control my body and mind. Anxiety & Frustration.
• When I wanted to cheat (or take advantage) a client/customer/friend, I first created Greed inside my mind. How can I extract the most out of him/her. If things didn’t go my way, Sadness and Less Energy.
• When I wanted more than what a friend had, I first created Jealousy in my mind. Looking at him/her with contempt. Feeling insufficient of what I have.

Of all these scenarios, two things are common. 

1. I created negative things in my body first.
2. I lost Peace. Something that I value more than anything.

This insight has had a profound effect on me. Whenever I come across these emotions, I try to remind myself about this principle. How I am hurting myself and my body. It has helped me to stay calm & composed. It will take time to habitualize this like anything else.

Would love to know what you think about this.